If They Wanted To, They Would

You've probably heard this phrase thrown around when talking about friendships or dating, especially when someone's not putting in effort or initiating contact. And yeah, there's some truth to it. But honestly? I think it's a bit oversimplified.

Here's the thing... there are actually tons of reasons why people don't reach out, and it's not always because they don't care. They might be dealing with:

The exact same mindset you have ("If they wanted to talk to me, they would")

Anxiety about bothering you or coming across as annoying

Life getting messy and overwhelming

Not knowing what to say after time has passed

Different communication styles or social energy levels.

All it takes is literally one text to reconnect and catch up. Sometimes someone just needs to break the ice, and it doesn't really matter who does it first

Of course, boundaries are important. There's a difference between someone who's going through it and someone who's genuinely not interested. If you're being consistently ghosted... like, you've tried reaching out, maybe even addressed it directly, and still nothing? Then yeah, maybe they're not trying to stay connected

Some people just aren't good at replying or maintaining digital communication. And that's on them, not you. But it doesn't automatically mean they don't value the relationship.

Communication skills vary, and not everyone shows care the same way. The bottom line? Don't let one catchy phrase dictate how you navigate your relationships. Sometimes people want to but don't know how. And sometimes, taking the first step yourself is all it takes to revive something meaningful